Brian & Rhonda, Des Moines

At first glance, we may not appear to be a couple who would be concerned with marriage equality. However, as individuals who have both loved partners of the same sex, our "heterosexual" marriage is actually that of two bisexual people. Because of this, we are attentive to the differences in rights and privileges that exist for couples based solely on the sex of the partners. Moreover, as an interracial couple, we are part of a brave history of advocacy for marriage equality in this country. Just 50 years ago, it was illegal for a Black person to marry a White person in many states. It took a Supreme Court decision in 1967, Loving vs. Virginia, to strike down those laws.

In the months leading to our decision to marry, it became clear what a privilege it is for us, a Black man and a White woman, to marry. We are grateful to the couples who quite literally risked their lives so that we could marry. That January afternoon, we married with great joy and excitement for what lies ahead, but also keenly aware of our responsibility to help create a world where all couples who love one another and who are willing to commit to the responsibilities of a lifelong partnership can choose to access the protections now accessible to us. We stood before our friends and family – gay, straight, bisexual, black, white, and brown – and said, "It is a privilege to be married . . . and we won't forget it!"

Because we won't forget, we are compelled to speak out for marriage equality for same-sex couples. We believe that denying rights to one group based on some immutable personal quality, such as the race or sex of the people involved, is unjust and ultimately immoral. We believe that marriage should be accessible to all couples willing to make this tremendous commitment, regardless of the sex of the partners. Just as brave interracial couples and their allies dared to challenge the racist system that limited access to marriage for some couples, we join our voices with same-sex couples and other allies to challenge the homophobic and heterosexist system that denies marriage equality to all. The system must change! We offer our story as a reminder that things can change and as another call for justice and equality for all Iowa families.